I am officially welcoming myself back to the blogging world after a long hiatus. A lot has happened since. So much has happened that I don’t think am gonna have time to talk about everything, well in due time I will. I need to learn to take one step at a time. Pace myself and know that everything will work out according to God’s plan.
My last blog post was when Hazel was about 6 months old, and now she is 18 months ( insert surprise face emoji.) Reasons for my absentness was because everything became overwhelming. I couldn’t find time to blog and I didn’t feel inspired even though there was a lot for me to talk about.
The biggest reason why I couldn’t bring myself to write was that I WENT BACK TO WORK. Am going to be honest and say this. After I went back to work, being a stay at home mom seemed like a job for five people. I don’t know how people do it. Day in and day out you are around little people that sometimes look at you like you are crazy. You have conversation with yourself, you let yourself go because lets face it, from morning till dawn, you really don’t have time for yourself. I needed to go back to work. I needed a BREAK!
I decided to go back to work because I felt like I was loosing my mind, myself and everything that is me. Motherhood is overwhelming already and no one can tell you how overwhelming it is until you are one. Am in love with my daughter no doubt, she completes me and I don’t know how I’ve lived this long without her. But at the same time, I needed to learn how to love myself, free my mind so that I could give her 100% of me. I didn’t want to look angry ,tired, mean, and exhausted everyday. I read this somewhere and am going to paraphrase here ” In order to love someone completely, your mind and body have to be ready to accept them and what comes with them in spite of everything” I needed to be ready for when she starts crawling and walking and breaking things. I didn’t want to be a mother that snaps, screams, and is always angry. I didn’t wan to her to grow up in that kind of environment.
I love waking up to my daughter. And I also love the look on her face when I come back from work. I love the fact that I get to miss her and I come home and give her the biggest hugs and just inhale her sweet baby smell, kiss her cheeks and bathe in her awesomeness.
For me going back to work gave me a sense of purpose and belonging. I love interacting with people of every race, background and culture and with the work that I do, I get to meet different people. Even though it sometimes exhausting, I love working.
Hazel still doesn’t go to a babysitter, because I have seen too many videos and read a lot of stories so I don’t trust babysitters. Her dad and I work our schedules out and it’s been working perfectly. I owe all my thanks to God for that.
Some people might disagree with me. But am only speaking from my experience and my life. Kudos to every stay at home mom out there. I just couldn’t do it. You guys are the real MVP and this is coming from the bottom of my heart.
Working and coming home to a toddler has all the excitement, but it doesn’t leave room for me to blog. But am back now. Am going to blog as much as I can on my days off, or when hazel is napping or out with her dad.
Fingers crossed I do not derail from my new found confident to continue blogging.!! pray for me!